Thinking...

Rarely do I post words on this blog anymore. I feel like our generation rather read pictures than read text. But tonight I feel particularly inspired to write something -- nothing inspirational and not inspired by much.

I feel trapped. In my head. In this city. I just feel feverishly stir crazy. Like I need out. In my head I'm scratching at the walls. I want (need) to do more. I feel like I am not doing enough. I'm just living for this moment which does not seem like enough. Is that selfish? I don't know. Is it greedy? The life I thought I would lead here feels stagnant. Lacking. Lack-luster. Perhaps to some, whatever life they have engaged here, seems to suffice. However, I feel it's banal life. Maybe I'm not simple or they are simple or I'm just being crazy. Does it sound cheesy to say that I feel too big for this city? I sound so pretentious. Fuck. But I can't seem to shake off this feeling of anxiety. There's this knot in my stomach. I am losing patience.

What am I going to do?